In honour of the forthcoming holiest of holy nights, I list my favourite scares:
3 'Twas a dark, misty autumn evening. The year: 2006 Anno Domini. I was quitting the Engineering building in UCD, and a lab partner of old catches mine eye. I sped towards her, bellowing "Boooooo!", my arms aflailing. She jumped mightily high and raised her hands to ward off this man cloaked in night. When she came to her senses, she called me bad names and hit me about the arms.
[Shortly after we parted ways, she banged on the windows of a car, in which her boyfriend reposed, oblivious to her approach. The dastardly act elicited a satisfying shock from him. The next day, she excitedly told me about the incident; A convert.]
2 One would think there is nothing to fear in the stark light of day. Wrong.3 'Twas a dark, misty autumn evening. The year: 2006 Anno Domini. I was quitting the Engineering building in UCD, and a lab partner of old catches mine eye. I sped towards her, bellowing "Boooooo!", my arms aflailing. She jumped mightily high and raised her hands to ward off this man cloaked in night. When she came to her senses, she called me bad names and hit me about the arms.
[Shortly after we parted ways, she banged on the windows of a car, in which her boyfriend reposed, oblivious to her approach. The dastardly act elicited a satisfying shock from him. The next day, she excitedly told me about the incident; A convert.]
'Twas a chilly afternoon. I was strolling along the mall in UCD, when I spied friends in the distance. Without a thought to how stupid it looked, I hid behind a pillar of the shelter stretched from restaurant to library. When I heard their approach, I jumped in front of them bellowing "Boooooo!". Anne Marie was so startled she shrieked, and hopped backwards, not once, but twice! Oh, how I laughed and fell about the place [sighs and looks to the middle distance watery-eyed]. The rest certainly enjoyed the experience, but Anne-Marie cast aspersions on my mother and the circumstances of my birth.
1 Granted, scaring Anne-Marie had many qualities of a good scare [A shriek, public area, hiding and spontaneous], but scaring an acquaintance rarely, if ever, matches giving a family member a fright...
My brother Eimhin and I had our rooms in a part of the house separate to Cillian, Diorraing and our parents. I needed T.P. for my ensuite so I went down to the other side of the house to procure some.
'Twas late at night, nary a mouse was stirring. I stole my way through the house like, like... something scary. I crept up the stairs, raised my fist to the bathroom door, and stopped. I could hear the distinct noises of Cillian brushing his teeth. I took stock of my surroundings... the lights were off in the landing and everyone else was asleep; it was unlikely Cillian would be expecting someone to be waiting on the otherside of the door. I rubbed my hands malevolently,a cunning plan came to mind.A
I did not have much time. He was finished brushing his teeth and spitting.
I opted for the silent method. He had turned on the tap and was rinsing his mouth.
Standing in front of the door, I raised my hands, fingers curled and contorted my face into a grimace, and froze. He opened the door.
I could see his shoulder. He turned back to switch off the light.
I saw his eyes spring wide in shock. He leaped backwards.
I laughed. He threw a punch at my face.
Luckily he had jumped backwards and our protagonistB [i.e. me] was just out of range. Curses and body punches followed shortly, my laughter was unabated. The curses woke-up our mother, and she asked,"What the f*ck is going on out there?!" Cillian replied,"Mairtin scared me!" Her final words on the matter were: "Shut the f*ck up and go to bed!"
As I write down this august portion of my memoir, other scares come to mind, but my top three still stand. If it is called for, my defense for scaring people is that it is lots and lots of fun. It is my advice that someone should take a moment in their day to give a friend a fright.
AI don't recall rubbing my hands in this manner, but if there was ever a moment for it to do so, that was it.
BI am willing to concede that the phrase "our hero" would be somewhat off the mark...
My brother Eimhin and I had our rooms in a part of the house separate to Cillian, Diorraing and our parents. I needed T.P. for my ensuite so I went down to the other side of the house to procure some.
'Twas late at night, nary a mouse was stirring. I stole my way through the house like, like... something scary. I crept up the stairs, raised my fist to the bathroom door, and stopped. I could hear the distinct noises of Cillian brushing his teeth. I took stock of my surroundings... the lights were off in the landing and everyone else was asleep; it was unlikely Cillian would be expecting someone to be waiting on the otherside of the door. I rubbed my hands malevolently,a cunning plan came to mind.A
I did not have much time. He was finished brushing his teeth and spitting.
I opted for the silent method. He had turned on the tap and was rinsing his mouth.
Standing in front of the door, I raised my hands, fingers curled and contorted my face into a grimace, and froze. He opened the door.
I could see his shoulder. He turned back to switch off the light.
I saw his eyes spring wide in shock. He leaped backwards.
I laughed. He threw a punch at my face.
Luckily he had jumped backwards and our protagonistB [i.e. me] was just out of range. Curses and body punches followed shortly, my laughter was unabated. The curses woke-up our mother, and she asked,"What the f*ck is going on out there?!" Cillian replied,"Mairtin scared me!" Her final words on the matter were: "Shut the f*ck up and go to bed!"
As I write down this august portion of my memoir, other scares come to mind, but my top three still stand. If it is called for, my defense for scaring people is that it is lots and lots of fun. It is my advice that someone should take a moment in their day to give a friend a fright.
AI don't recall rubbing my hands in this manner, but if there was ever a moment for it to do so, that was it.
BI am willing to concede that the phrase "our hero" would be somewhat off the mark...
