False Idols

[Blogger's note, once again this is one that has been gathering dust for a couple of months]

Previously on The Trouble With Máirtín - Motherdearest came to Dublin to bring back the most of the books, suits and bulky items I have gathered in the last 8 years.

As we approached home, I broached the subject of She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.^–1 Often has she voiced her love of Eimhin, it being stronger than her feelings for her own father or mother. I asked Deirdre why this was the case. She figured it was because Eimhin brings her toys and gifts when he returns from far away lands. So she suggested that I bring her one of the pair of shoes that were bought for her in Dublin as an offering. I was all for smoothing over the weekend. It didn't seem of consequence at the time, but Diorraing had bought himself two pairs of sunglasses and Cárthach another pair.^–0.5

We arrived in Lisdoon, and I gave Molly her shoes, and she gushed over them and thanked me sweetly. Then she spotted Diorraing's glasses. He told her that he got them in Dublin. Molly said, rather accusingly,"Máirtín got me shoes in Dublin, why didn't he get me sunglasses as well?"⁰

Molly begged Diorraing to wear the sunglasses for a while, so he let her. Since "she got snot on 'em" he refused to give them to her again. Eager/desperate to get into her good graces, I chased Diorraing down and pried the sunglasses from his grasp. He took them off of her, and again I chased him down. This time we took it outside, where there was much wrestling and capering. In all the excitement, Molly forgot whose side she was on and starting kicking me and running away with her other brothers as I lay prone.

Inevitably, Molly broke the glasses by trying to snatch them off of Diorraing and put an end to this episode of our lives. [Fade to black]

[The lead-in: To make room for visiting cousins, I slept in Molly's bed, which goes unused.¹]

As closing credits roll underneath:

The next morning she came in to me. Asked me what I was doing in [Directed by] her room. I told her that she never slept here. She repeated [Written by] herself and added that the bed was too small for me [Key grip], that I was too big and it was perfect for her [Cinematography]. She even went as far as to suggest that I sleep in Eimhin's [Best boy] bed.

–I flashbacked to a morning a year back, where she [Continuity] woke me and disapprovingly asked Deirdre,"Why Máirtín was sleeping [Filmed on location] in Eimhin's room?"–

While she stalked out of her pink, pink room, she made the universal gesture for I-Have-My-Eyes-On-You²; and I pulled the covers up to my nose. [Ballyconnoe Productions, Logo: image of a half bald doll with a dodgy eye holding a mace]

***

^–1SWMNBN to her friendsⁱ

^-–0.5They were of Russian design I think, Chekov or something like that.

⁰My reaction was:"..."ⁱⁱ

¹She sleeps in the master bedroom with her parents. I think it is because she is used to immediate service. Since she drinks copious amounts during the night, when she finds her cup empty, she'll reach over and whack the parent closest declaring:"More!"

²Index and middle finger of the person's hand point at their eyes and then turn and point at you; This really did happen. I found out later that Diorraing had been doing it to her and as a result she picked it up.

***

ⁱThink Lovecraft.

ⁱⁱIt was how I didn't say it that said it all.

The forgotten Mac

A few weeks back, I started moving my stuff out of Dublin. Cárthach and Diorraing came up with Deirdre to get some shopping in in Dundrum before getting me and my things. Shortly after we left the the house, Diorraing started teasing Cárthach. I told him to stop it. He countered that Eimhin and I teased Cillian. I told him that we didn't do that any more. He began the sentence "Is it because he has a job now-"

"- and you don't." finished Cárthach.⁰

I reeled.

He didn't even lift his head from his game. He just rattled the 3 syllables off as he tapped the buttons on his DS. He kept his head down even when Diorraing related the incident with malicious to Deirdre. On reflection, I reckon the little tike was oblivious to Diorraing's jibes, hunched over his Nintendo™ as he was; My interdiction was for naught. Heck, I don't even know if he is aware that he said anything...

Previously, I described Cárthach as a "computer savvy sweetheart." Those of a more immediate acquaintance also know him for his astonishing skill in cards:

• In cribbage,¹ he has beaten all of us far more than he has lost, even when he started playing it and needed help counting his score.
• Once, I played him in poker and he got three kings in his hand twice in a row. I smelled a rat, but Cárthach smiled his dimpled smile, unaware and uncaring of the tall odds he beat.²

He has memorized phone numbers so that he can call Deirdre and Jacko to make demands wherever they are. More recently he was able to recall 6 playing cards in a row after seeing them once; Granted it was only the first 6 out of 15 cards, but it impressed me. [Edit: yesterday he learned between 10 and 15 cards in sequence]

When he was playing a game of 21 on the basketball ring at home, he caught the ball, but was too far away for a good chance of shooting. After a moment's calculation, he chucked the ball farther away, for the next person to get.

I digress.

After he tired of his Nintendo, Cárthach asked if I wanted to play "I Spy" with him. My mother leaned over and cautioned me that what he says "mightn't be spelt correctly, or actually exist."

Cárthach:"I spy with my little eye something beginning with…. 'D'… no. 'D and K'… No.. I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'D' and "C/Kl'."

[This turned out to be Dark Clouds. Since no one guessed correctly, he continued.]

Cárthach:"I spy with my little eye something that begins with 'W'"

"Wall?"

"No"

"Window?"

"No"

"Wheel?"

"No"

It continued like this... we gave up and he told us:

"White, the white on the lines on the road."

How could I explain to a 6 year old that adjectives are not things to be spied up on? Even asking the question, I don't know if I could explain it to a 26 year old.

After this, motherdearest asked Cárthach to give me a go:

Mairtin:"I spy with my little eye something beginning with 'C'"

[A brief silence, no more than 5 seconds]

Cártach:"Crane."

Máirtín:"… yes."

I begged another turn, he let me have it. This time I picked something beginning with 'W.' It was "wire" and he got it in 5 guesses.

Motherdearest got the next go, she picked something beginning with 'S.' Within 10 guesses Cárthach got it. Sunglasses, as in the sunglasses Deirdre was wearing and hence looking through. At this point I was getting freaked out by how good he was at this game. What followed was himself choosing objects or qualities of objects again and again, it all blurs together really. One thing that does stick out is when Diorraing was in the hot seat. Deirdre gave up on it, I gave up on it, so Diorraing told us what it was. Cárthach declared he hadn't given up and repeated the word. It was the first, but not the last time that he pulled that fast one.

The rest of the journey was uneventful, as was most of the weekend thereafter, but Cárthach came out with a stellar put-down for Diorraing:

"Diorraing, you're stupid. You're not smart, Diorraing."

In my youngest brother, there is a triple threat: a disarming cherubic smile, an unorthodox mind, and a Machiavellian streak; I am somewhat reminded of the titular character in I, Claudius.

***

⁰ Technically the sentence is a question; Cárthach's tone implied an emphatic assertion.^i
1This is a card game our grandfather brought back from the Uranium mines of Canada. A two-man game, each is dealt 6 cards. Two of each set are combined to make a third hand that the dealer gets to use after the two primary hands are dealt with. where you win by scoring more points than your opponent based on pairs, three of a kind, 4 of a kind, 3 to 5 card runs, flushes, etc. Apparently it is one of the most popular popular games in the English-speaking world.^ii
2There is a devoted wikipedia page to poker card probabilities. According to it the odds of Cárthach/someone drawing a three of a kind is roughly 0.021. For him to draw a second one it is the 0.021 squared, ~0.0004; choosing the specific cards is slightly lower again. Probability not being my strong suit, I'll leave that for my betters to ponder.

***

ⁱAn interesting aside: Evidence to universality of sentence cadence with respect to question and non-question.
ⁱⁱThe reference is from a text published in 1898... given the lack of Cribbage After Dark, I think it is somewhat dated.