Railroaded

I went back to Clare last week. I booked the tickets on-line, an 0700 Thursday train down. The perfect plan.

In other news:

We had a fantastic Christmas Party on Wednesday night. I dominated in the inaugural Daniela Baum Bake-Off .ⁱ I made a marbled, cocoa and plain, madera cake replete with raspberries and blackberries.ⁱⁱ I partially covered it in chocolate. My reason being that some berries were still visible on the surface- albeit sunken like... um... like a pock marks on a plague survivor- and it seemed wasteful to hide the Technicolor delights under a bushel-not an actual bushel- of chocolate. After our dinner, we scampered/swayed to Whelan's. It was a good laugh, better than last year's party by far.ⁱⁱⁱ It was after 0430 when I got to sleep.

Already, I can hear you saying: "Hmmm. Going to bed at that time is not very responsible, given your early start, Mairtin." I can even see you peering over your horn rimmed glasses at me to complement^iv that disapproving tone of yours.^v

I awoke with me alarm clock in plenty of time for the train.

A couple of hours later, I awoke of my own accord, in negative plenty of time for the train.

In hopes of clemency, I rang Irish Rail. Bluntly was I informed "No Mercy" was the order of the day.^vi I got over it and acquired one of the nifty 10Euro train tickets - plus credit card charges.

Cue Rant:

The online bookers must choose a train time and get designated a seat. For everything to work out hunky dory, fewer casual users- commuters, people without internet/credit card, otherwise disadvantaged or disorganised bums- can alight than there are unbooked seats.

This could be ensured: if there was a bouncer that stopped the commoners coming on before VIPs,"Sorry folks, regulars only today." Or the computerised turnstiles could be programmed to prevent more casuals than there are free seats getting on the train at the beginning of its route (It could beep something rude like R2-D2 at them, Morgan Freeman could tell them,"Now just isn't your time, son/girl [please select gender]"^vii, or Kanye could interrupt their scheduled promenade to the train with,"People that book on-line are the best train users ever. You should leave.").

This reminds me that most of the stations I have gone through don't even have these turnstiles, which brings us back to the labour intensive bouncer option. For interim stations, does the train only stop for people that booked tickets? Do the bouncers travel with the train. We could have a scanner on the door and it could trigger countermeasures against the casuals that try to get on the train- that would do great for the flagging Funniest Home Movie franchise.

I smell a calculus/algebra problem brewing at this point, no longer are we interested in when Train A will meet Train B, but whether Sally can get on the train in Athlone if there is a football match in Naas that has a connection on Ballina.

Alternatively, they could just stop looking for seats and train times. Otherwise it just sounds like they want to get everyone to use automated methods and reduce the number of positions required in the running of Irish Rail Services.

End Rant.

ⁱThere were just two entries :/ "Though we try, we can never match her"

ⁱⁱSimilar to the "berry" special cake I made for some young lad's 21st a while back, but this time I got to eat it :)

ⁱⁱⁱSorry, Gleb and Julia, the truth/subjectivity can be a cruel mistress

^ivAn easy way to remember the difference between complement- to complete a pairing or group, e.g. "that tie complements that shirt" and compliment- to praise, etc.- is the first "e" in complement matches with complete [no booing!]

^vYou know who you are!¹

^viAdmittedly, I am lemon-coating the response to my request. That is right, I lack the emotional maturity to accept the consequences of actions, despite having clearly ticked the box that says I accept the T&Cs.² Do you have a problem with that?

^viiI'm sure the budget could stretch to getting him in, it would certainly take the sting out of being treated like second class citizen

¹At least I hope so, since I don't

²link