Perfectionist's Care Package

I am going to give a workshop series in the Winter.

Topic: Fear of failure, and giving and receiving help.

Who: People that often feel overwhelmed or exhausted by the fear of failure, and negative outcomes; who struggle to ask for help because it seems like admitting weakness (it is not, not all things are possible alone... in fact few if any things are).

Why: So that we can do our best, and if it is not enough, can still have compassion for ourselves. Everyone should have the opportunity and means to develop emotional resilience, a capacity to have grace under fire, to keep our wits about us when we need to. And when the dust has settled, shake it off, with a spring in our step.

When: 5 Sundays x 4h - 1 Nov, 8 Nov, 22 Nov, 29 Nov, and 6 Dec (specific time, TBD). I want to do this in 5 sessions because a single session is rarely enough to create lasting change and improvement.

How:  This workshop is focused on somatically working through emotions, and it will be hugely experiential and very personalised. We all have our unique patterns of tension and (in)action to fear or helplessness and what this course offers is tailor-made to help with them.

We will use exercises movement patterns, ideas and methods chosen from meditation, martial arts, dance, improv, and the performing arts. Setting us up to safely simulate situations that stir a fear of failure, a sense of helplessness, or a need for help. And prepare us to do our best, and should it be not enough that we does not knock the wind out of us.

For example: A competition between you and another participant; investigating how we feel in these situations (how did you react even at the mention competition?), how we feel before, during and after - win, lose or draw. Then how we can change so that our reaction is more constructive and less tiring.

Thoughts
Brené Brown said it best in a an interview with Forbes magazine
I was raised in a “get ‘er done” and “suck it up” family and culture (very Texan, German-American). The tenacity and grit part of that upbringing has served me, but I was not taught how to deal with uncertainty or how to manage emotional risk. I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity [...].

All the way through school and in work, there is a huge emphasis on the right result - “100%!”,  the ends justifying the means.  Putting in just a few more hours to get something finished, or just right, because it is shameful to fail. The entire experience can be brutalising, sense of personal worth becomes tied to results; a failed project, exam, training session or even a conversation, like being told one has been terrible or bad. It is rare that people are adequately prepared for emotional fallout, when things do not go as planned. It can often leave us paralysed!

In martial arts, competitive sports, performing arts, even technical professions - we spend time preparing, conditioning and training ourselves for the moment where we gotta perform; you do not run a marathon without putting in the work first. Likewise, I think it is critical we have opportunity and support develop emotional resilience, because emotionally intense situations are marathons, they leave their marks and they can be a lot worse than a few blisters on our feet.

Practicalities:
Lingua Franca - I will give most of the course in English, but on request, I can speak in Dutch, and during sharing and discussions, either language goes.
Venue - TBD; but location is Antwerp, Belgium
Cost - €100 for the entire series (refund is possible after the first session only; if this idea takes off, I will be charging €200 per course), deposit is €20. Balance can be paid at a later date. Email: maw140@gmail.com for details.
Participants - Ideally 10-15 people. Minimum of 6 for workshop to go ahead.
Clothes - wear what you can move freely in and will keep you sufficiently warm if standing around. (My own recommendation: loose-fitting tracksuit bottoms, long t-shirt, and a jumper)
Questions: Contact me on Facebook (Mairtin McNamara) or email: maw140@gmail.com

Me:

I have been working with the body in one or another for 22 years, most of that has been martial arts (kung fu and karate), but I have been dancing for nearly 10 years (mainly salsa, some hip-hop, and tango), I have done a week long intensive with Paul Linden in embodiment peacemaking and bodywork (using manual manipulation to release tension and get a deeper relaxation).

In 2013 I completed the multi-perspective embodied facilitator course with Mark Walsh, Francis Briers and Anouk Brack. More recently, I have been looking at movement improve, circus training and public speaking.

I have a PhD in industrial crystallization, black belts in kung fu and karate, I am a Competent Communicator in Toastmasters.... In word all the trademarks of a perfectionist and overachiever, i.e. lots of personal experience with fear of failure and the shame that can come with actual failure ;)