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Thursday, 25 August 2011

Garlonime Chicken

Garlic, Lemon and Lime Chicken (GarlOnIme)
Ingredients: Garlic, lemon, lime, cashews nuts and whole chicken. [Opens mouth to say something,".... ." closes it again.]
It's been yonks since I wrote a kitchen related post.

I had guests a couple of weekends back, and they demanded, demanded I say, that I make them dinner. Were I an unreasonable man and/or not already planning out what I would do, I'd have taken offense.
The scheming
I started with a standard idea tree. I went with chicken as the meat. Then I decided it would be roasted.  Then I decided I would use cashew nuts, garlic, lemon and lime for flavour (henceforth known as GarlOnIme0)

Chicken was a safe bet. I picked Cashew because it is my favourite nut. Garlic is always welcome. Lemon brings an acerbic tone to things, and Lime is like her shy sister, there to rein her in a bit.

The preparing
I used the GarlOnIme in two ways.
  1. I diced each of them up really fine [Except for the cashew nuts... I gave up trying to dice them eventually. I ground them with a soup spoon to make my bread instead]. I think I used one lemon, one and a half limes, 3-4 cloves of garlic and a Máirtín sized handful of cashew nuts. This I mixed it into a paste.
  2. I made crude 1/8s of the limes (x2) and the lemons (x1.5) and ungainly chunks of the garlic (4-5 cloves ).
I shoved the rough bits into the carcass and I covered the chicken with the paste. To get better diffusionscrew superscript numbering of the paste into the meat, I made incisions/stabs into the breast and thighs and shoved the rest of the paste in. I placed it in the fridge and left it over night.

The cooking
To give it a head start on the vegetables, I first foiled the chicken1 and put it in the oven at about 150°C.

About an hour or 90 minutes later, I put in the veg. Since Barry is Oirish, I went with potatoes as the staple food. I parboiled, sliced and rolled them in butter. Then I cut up carrots, parsnips and onions and threw them in as well.

I went for a slow roast, so everything was ready to eat 2 to 2.5 hours after I put the chicken into the oven (although, that is a rough estimate, because I didn't keep track of the time and just tested the meat every now and again).1.5

As dessert, I sliced up some fruit (nectarines, strawberries, apple and grapes) with some raisins and threw them into a bowl. I melted some honey and poured that in on top of them. After I poured in the honey, I left it to one side2 for about half an hour. All the juices pooled with it to make a surprisingly light, just-sweet-enough syrup.

The post-game analysing
- On the upside, the chicken was very juicy and tasty. [I think it was safe to say that the GarlOnIme was well-diffused through the meat.]

- On the downside, I used too much lemon for my tastes. In future, I'd use another lime or two to get it more balanced.

- The dessert was tasty.

- And of course, the guests were happy with the food. :)
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0I thought that GarlOnImeEw gave the wrong kind of message - anything that ends with "eew" does.
screw superscript numberingI wanted to use "penetration", but googling that with any item of food leads to TMI.
1It crowed quite coarsely, which is like saying "curses" for a chicken.
1.5I'm a real firebrand, I am. Or it is my occupation with Process Analytical Technologies barging its way into my private life...
2A self respecting chef chronicling his/her forays into the culinarial wilderness feels naked without this phrase. I challenge you to find a TV chef that hasn't used it at least once an episode.

Friday, 12 August 2011

Mean Girls II: Bitchiness is Back in XS

[Edit: my aunt PhD, pointed out that I should have the pluralised from of dramatis persona therefor the person- is rocking a nifty diphthong (æ)]
Dramatis personæ:
Molly as Molly

Deirdre as Mother


A couple came to meet Mother regarding work. They had a girl with them slightly younger than Molly (reminder, my sister is only 4). So they played together while the grownups talked. After they left...
Deirdre: Did you enjoy playing with the girl?
Molly: She's not my type.
Deirdre: What do you mean?
Molly: Did you see her clothes?
[End scene/fade to black]
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Notes and comments:



  • This is, to the best of my knowledge what happened, as unbelievable as it sounds.
  • My mother told me this by text. I responded with: "fantastic." She responded with: "cruel." I responded that she was being realistic. She responded with: "She's some yoke."1 Not being able to help myself, I responded with: "She uses a yoke, she could never be one."
  • I think I will be patting myself on the back for the double-meaning subtitle of my post for the weekend at the very least.
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Doing this tomorrow. I am hoping to recount my tangle with the obstacle course on steroids (the obstacle course is figuratively on steroids not me literally on them) thereafter.

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1In Ireland the word is used to describe a person that causes consternation, vexation or exasperation, etc.