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Sunday, 30 January 2011

BYOK

I arrived in Antwerp somewhat later than originally planned...

Here's my advice about flying to Antwerp airport: Don't.0

It is a dinky little thing; From Dublin, there are no direct flights, I had to travel via Manchester. Unfortunately, the arriving and departing flights were in different terminals, and I arrived minutes too late to check in. On the upside, the airline and airport helpdesks were really helpful. Respectively, they had me on the first flight the following morning, and gave me directions to a reasonably priced hotel.

My temporary residence is palatial- from office through the hall into the living room there is a a 50 foot stretch good enough for lunges and leg work, but the hallway is rather narrow, so I can't do any jumping or hopping drills. :'(

It is just off the Belgian equivalent of Grafton st., de Meir. It's got all the mod cons, except for an Irish standard...  I had been cautioned during my cross-culture program that there is a large coffee culture in Belgium; an unforeseen consequence of this is that coffee makers are standard, not electric kettles. Fear not faithful readers, I bought one.1

[At the risk of causing narrative whiplash, I am going to switch focus somewhat]
Coming out of my third weekend in Belgium, I have cobbled together some observations.
  • On the buses, which have 2-person seats that don't fit 2 averaged sized males and face-to-face seats that are knee-caressingly close, the locals aren't going to make room unless you ask/gesture for some, but they do so without grumbling. Additionally, I've seen numerous strangers sharing an open chuckle about something or chatting idly.
  • The public transport around Antwerp is super; imagine that they have timetables at all the stops that are accurate for the stop. The bus drivers themselves are generally pleasant.
  • They are open, and welcome discussion about things; they want to be sure that all the options have been addressed and there is a consensus.
  • Everybody speaks English, as well as Dutch and French. Comfortably. They are so blase about being polyglots2 that I feel a bit silly having a sense of accomplishment in being able to speak Irish and English.
  • The Flemish have a similar sense of humour to the Irish, I think. They like to poke fun at themselves and everyone else; pan-depreciating, if you will.
  • The shops are closed on a Sunday - that took some adjusting.
  • Walking around, I have either to focus on the sounds being said, to start training my ear for learning Dutch, or tune them out. When I choose the latter, there is a bit of a lag before I realise I am hearing English.
  • Dutch reminds me of Japanese and Chinese; it emphasizes vowel sounds more so than the consonants - which is more common in other European languages [In my opinion, at least... it is certainly the case for English - where text speak contracts words to strings of consonants]. Every now and again, my ear catches syllables that I can parse into words I recognise from German or English, but for the most part I hear mysterious ululations. My Dutch lessons are due to start mid-February, which I am really looking forward to; I asked for directions is Dutch yesterday and the guy responded in English as if it is what I had spoken.
So far, the only practical advice I can give a body leaving Ireland for Belgium is: bring your own kettle.
----
Postword: I had sat down to write a bit more, but I got sidetracked doing the kettle experiment. :/
***
0Most people bound for Antwerp go to Brussels, since it is 30-45 minutes by rail or highway.
1There is a kettle you can put on the hob. But the heat transfer is abysmal:
  1. I put the same amount of water in each kettle
  2. I let the hob heat for 5 minutes before hand
  3. To make it more exciting, like a race, see, I started them at the same time.
  4. The electric kettle goes off automatically, so I assumed it was calibrated for 100°C.
  5. For the hob kettle, I opened the top and stared down until there was persistant bubbling ["nucleate boiling" to give its technical description; film boiling is when the surface is too hot and a film of vapour forms at the surface and further evaporation; and a reason that you can dip your hand in liquid nitrogen, if you're into that kind of thing - in technical gobble-dy gook it is known as the Leidenfrost Effect]
  6. The heat transfer area for the hob kettle was the bottom of it, so I measured the diameter with my handy measuring tape.
  7. For the electrical kettle, I cut strips of paper and stood them around the coil, holding them close to one of the coil's sides and added together the strip lengths. I got the coil circumference by wrapping a strip of paper around the coil an measuring its length. Working in the confines of kettle with my clown hands was a tad annoying though - if only I had some kid at hand to stick its hands in the kettle...
  8. I figure the results are good to within 10% of the actual values. The main sources of uncertainty being the coil area, the starting temperature and my judgement call on when boiling was in the hob kettle. Even based on time-to-boil alone the hob kettle sucks, it might be able to compete if it was a gas hob, but that is not an option.
Here are my calculations:
2Related to this is that one of the people helping me find a place to live told me about her experience learning some Japanese to get by on a trip there. She complained that they were just these meaningless sounds that she had to memorise. Between French, English, German and Dutch she's grown up seeing a set of languages that are related to each other in some way or another; a situation where the fallacy of noises having a fundamental meaning can easily arise.  To me, learning Dutch language is like her experience with Japanese.

Saturday, 29 January 2011

De Bulge

So... What do I know about diamonds Belgium?0

It all started back when I took part in the Chemistry Olympiad in Groningen. In the build up to the exams we had oodles of activities and events to get to know each other. We did a relay/obstacle course and the Irish (go us!/ar aghaigh linn!) teamed up with the Belgians (insert French/Dutch equivalent phrases here).

One of the tasks was four-man ski-walking, where the step timing was important. I, ignorantly, suggested that the country teams do it together, since we'd be speaking the same language. I then learned my first fact about Belgium - they have two [technically three] official languages (French and Dutch [and German]). Furthermore, to keep things copacetic1, the Belgian team was half Walloon, half Fleming. So there was awkward shoegazing on my part, my shoes that is.

Years on, my buddies from "Space Camp"2 and I went to visit one of the gang in Leuven, in Belgium.3 I can't say that I was particularly taken with the place,4 but they did have delicious, cheap kebabs the size of my head.

If I say: Irish, English, Germans, French, Italian, Spanish, Swiss, Greek or Dutch, an image or an idea will pop into your head. Belgians? Waffles... that's all you got?

A country that is the seat of European parliament; the European diamond capital; and an economy with serious leverage....5 I could chalk it down to my obliviousness to things that don't appear on Physorg, XKCD, IMDB, TV.com, and the Daily Show [with Jon Stewart], but shouldn't I be more aware of these people?

There is something rotten in the State of... ugh... Belgium.

I have a theory...

Preamble:
To give me the smoothest emigration a man can get, I was provided with relocation assistance by Cartus, part of which included a cross-culture training program; I was given presentations by native Flemings to vet me for life on the ground.

The first speaker gave a litany of Belgians in power - the IMF, the EU, etc. The program coordinator and I marveled at this, that they seem to be holding all the cards. He dissembled, saying that it was more a case of the Belgians being a harmless, inoffensive bunch with no real power.

I put it to you that this is representative of their national policy: "Don't mind little ol' us. We're harmless. What?... sure... One of our boys can head up this, if you think it is alright."

The second presentation was about Belgian history and day-to-day living therein.6 Despite my bland summary, the presenter unfolded a riveting tale of maneuverings, twists and turns. In a nutshell, the area that Belgium currently occupies has been passed around like a hot potato for centuries, hence two national languages.

Proposition:
By natural selection, they have gotten demonstrably good at negotiating, at handling people. They are like... like political ninjas!

So what do I know about diamonds Belgium?

*****
0It occurred to me to write the piece like Statham in Snatch, but the idea struck too late and I wasn't going to rework it. 
1That is the first time I have ever used that word - WIN
2The Fás Science Challenge in Florida in Association with NASA is where we met [Whatevs/brushes finger tips on jacket breast]
3Think holiday special, like the time the Bradys went to Hawaii.
4The locals were very backgroundy... kept staring at the boisterous Irish crew.
5A study that used computer simulations to estimate the response of the global economy to individual economies has Belgium in the company of USA and China in terms of impact; really punching above its weight. (Paper link, and what I read myself first [don't look at me!])
6In Belgium that is, not in Belgian history.

The "E" word

The Irish have been doing it for a long time - Potato famine, economic recessions, boredom, warrants... any reason will do.

My great granduncle and a friend of his went out to Canada- to the Wild West, Eh- and bought themselves a 256 acre plot of land. Back in those days you got nothing just the land and it was a race against time to have the cabin ready or die of exposure come Winter. They drove 400 mule from Montana up to the plot. The venture didn't really work out; in the first Winter they had to eat a couple of mules.0 He packed it in after that, but his mate struck oil shortly thereafter. Literally.

As a young man, my grandfather lived in Canada, working as a mechanic with the Trans-Pacific Rail and for a uranium mine operation. Later, himself and my grandmother lived in the States. Of their children, 8/10 have lived or are currently living abroad.

Emigration isn't such a big deal now.

I am not going into a infrastructure-less wilderness with my life in the balance. The world is a tiny place now; it takes less time for me to get from Antwerp to Dublin than it does from Clare to Dublin. 

These days the biggest change caused by emigrating is who gets your taxes.

Besides, I've seen the worst that moving around in Europe has to offer thanks to Jason F*cking Bourne.

***
0I think "woof" is the technical term.

Friday, 7 January 2011

3 degrees of footnotes

The tail-end of my previous post reminded me of a quote, which led to layers of footnotes.


After a reluctant, but necessary review of the sprawl, I decided that they were more asymptotically than tangentially relevant and I dumped them here:

[...]
One of my favourite shows in the last couple of years, Life, had beautiful koan-like story-lines1,2 and lilt to its dialogue...  One that sticks in my mind at the moment is:

                  (In reference to uncooperative witness)
                  Crews: We have to use his strength against him.
                  Reese: Whats his strength?
                  Crews: His weakness.
                  Reese: His strength is his weakness?
                  Crews: Yeah, its like the one hand clap.
                  Reese: Are you really Zen?
                  Crews: Zen-"ish"
1Farthingale and Hit Me Baby are probably my favorite stand-alone pieces; the primary arc has some really great moments, but I'm ambivalent as to how reasonable the course of events are that led to his initial incarceration.i

2It has many things going for it:
  •  Damien Lewis plays damaged goods like no body's business
  • The gorgeous Sarah Shahi and her flawed detective Reese
  • A recurring guest spot by the voluptuous Christina Hendricks
  • ... Who generally shared scenes with the excellent second-fiddle Adam Arkin.ii 
  • ... and these scenes [sterling examples of the direction, cinematography and pacing of the series] had a very dreamy/floaty-light feel to them ripe with subtext and humour.
  • An evil Garret Dillahunt,iii,iv with an unfortunately ropey Russian accent :/
  • The much under-appreciated Donal Logue (season 2) from Grounded for Life and Terriers.v


iI could defend that clunky sentence as an analogue of the overarcing plot in Life, being all "meta", but I won't.
iiFYI, Mr Arkin cut his directing teeth on this show, and now features prominently as a director in Sons of Anarchyα

iiiHe's currently in a combo-breaking role as a dim-witted, but well-intentioned recent-grandfather in Raising Hope. Up until now, I had only seen him as some flavour of psycho, but to his credit and ability, they are different characters; he's not doing-a-John-Cusack on us.β 

ivSpeaking of DeadwoodLife also has Calamity Jane as the Chief in season 1, and a guess spot by the guy that played E.B. Farnum-  maybe one or two others in it that I can't recall at the moment. And while I am talking about Deadwood, there are a couple of actors from it that appear in Sons of Anarchy.γ

vThat show is another good one to watch, Logue is the lead in it. A combination of critics liking it, poor viewing numbers and not being on AMC meant it got axed after one season [colon dash open-bracket].
αSons of Anarchy is one one of the best shows on television at the moment,δ a well-written, intricate series. Kurt Sutter is the creator, it is his follow up to the Shield. It has a strong tragic element [with a phenomenal Katey Sagal as Lady Macbeth stand-in] and Ron Pearlman. The lead actor (Charlie Hunnan) improves steadily over the three seasons- and what starts off as histrionics and heavy handed deliveries and expressions become some great, great moments on his part.
If I was to put a tag-line to it:
There are always consequences [boom]
βCome on people! Look at him... Could you tell the difference between him in Grosse Pointe Blank and High Fidelity?

γOne of the persistent themes in Life is that everything is connected, how meta is this sh*t!?


This is the last one, I swear.... [at least partly because I am tapped out of sequential symbols after two numeric layers and the Greek alphabet.]


δMad Men and Breaking Bad being my other picks for top quality production values. Boardwalk Empire had its moments, it wasn't what I was expecting, which left me disappointed. I'd have to have another look of it to decide what I think of it. Dexter is another one that aims high - beautiful cinematography and Michael C Hall is a good actor- but the storyline/premise and generally 1-D supporting cast gives it a whiff of cheese as far as I am concerned.
There are other shows I adore for their campiness, and entertainment value, but listing them here is like bringing a gun to a fight where the other guy brings a Pontiac Aztec [Breaking Bad Spoiler Alert for that link].

This is just what I could think of off the top of my head; if I made a real run of it, I would really bore you to tears.