Roads? Where we are going don't...

Last week, Brian left his car lights on all day, while he was in college. It goes without saying.¹ Shortly after he left the office, he was on the phone begging for a push start. Feeling magnanimous, I recruited a cohort (a silent man of many names) and rushed to our hirsute damsel's aid; Damian remained behind to make sure his pants were so tight it felt like he was wearing nothing at all.

We got Brian's Fiesta out of its spot and lined it up for the exit.

Once did we push it, with such a mighty effort that the car moved, and once did it not start. Twice did we move it, with such a mighty burst of effort that the 3 score birds took flight from the shaking trees and twice did it stay silent. Thrice did we throw ourselves at the sleeping beast, with a such mighty effort that our very feet left a blazing trail in our wake and thrice did it roar to life with much coughing.² And lo' did the Warring Son of the Seahound³ and the Silent Man of Many Names walk back to the engineering building as the Rice-man goeth in his chariot of steel.

Joking aside, the incident reminded me of Back to The Future. Except of course Brian is only a pinch of salt grey, not yet a doctor, his surname is a food and not a colour; it was just pushing a damn-bucket-of-bolts quickly enough to make a spark; ⁴ Finally, instead of 1.21 Giga Watts it was more like, 4 Kilo Watts!⁵

*****

¹The phrase is used far too often and always in-correctly. If it really "went without saying", or if "it was needless to say," then why would one continue? - It casts aspersions of ineptitude on the listener: "What I am about to tell you is fundamental to the matter-at-hand, anyone with a modicum of sense realises or knows this; I do not think you have one."
²I am aware that once, twice and thrice are used in egregious error, but I wanted a Celtic legend feel to it and decided,"F*ck it."
³A chocolate bar to the person that first explains my reasoning here!
⁴ It also kinda reminds me of the time Han couldn't the Millennium Falcon's hyperdrive to start and they had to go through the asteroid field to get to Bespin.
⁵Some back of the envelope bill calculations:

Power is work per unit time; Work is force by distance; The force is the car's friction coefficient by its weight; The friction coefficient is the sine of the angle of the incline that the unbraked car begins to move (link). We pushed for about 30-45m and over 15-30 seconds. The Fiesta weighs about 940kg, ±85kg of Rice. I figure the Fiesta would start to roll somewhere between 7 and 15 degree incline.
Not exactly what I wrote down, but it is in the spirit of it. The actual wattage is most likely of that order of magnitude (i.e. 1-10kW); 4kW is a mid-point of sorts.

*****

I apologise for the manifold instances of the semi-colon; I came across a link about its use earlier in the week; I am in the habit of showing-off that I know something even when at best it is tangentially relavent.