Power found between two trees

[Edit: Started writing this January last year]

There is a pair of old trees in Antwerp. Walking from one to the other I get stronger, faster, happier.

I've been trying to figure out how I can be a better teacher.

In college, we had this really helpful and organised teacher, he was tremendously dedicated to his craft; wonderful command of engineering mathematics. His notes and lectures laid it all out with superb clarity; matter-of-fact. But when it came down to exam and study time - it was all like grasping water; the stuff was hard to reproduce and apply. He made me feel it was easy; "All you have to do, folks, is..." But it needed more work. He made us feel safe and secure with his notes and lectures. Complacent.

Unintentionally unsuccessful.

In secondary school, we had a mathematics teacher, who was on the other end of the spectrum; she offered little to any sense of security in her classes, to the point that I was the only one out of 12 that did not find a tutor for extra support. Strangely, the end result was that the class did spectacularly as a whole; Bs and As all round. In a Machiavellian way, she created a circumstance where her students could excel.

Unintentionally successful.

Risk Compensation - a theory which suggests that people typically adjust their behavior in response to the perceived level of risk, becoming more careful where they sense greater risk and less careful if they feel more protected. Not enough perceived risk and we'll stagnate, too much and we'll flounder.

Where's that middle ground? Spoonfeeding; cast adrift..

During his workshop two years ago at Elite Athletes,  Tom Weksler talked about his approach to teaching floor-work and acrobatics; he wanted us to get a feel for moving around down there, for us to get a grasp the motor principles at play. He was resigned to the fact that he had to teach us a pattern of moves because he had found it the best way to learn lessons. But he invited us to figure out what the movement and pattern illustrated.

I had my first session with my kung fu student this evening, since the Fighting Monkey Intensive in Athens.

Fascinating, rich, thought-consuming and frustrating. It reminded me of the Buddhist adage:

"When you meet Buddha on the road, kill him."

Jozef and Linda spent 5 days showing us a full spectrum of concepts: stillness, rhythm, collaboration, situational movement instead of rote movement. Challenging us to find our own insights from the situations.

So for the coming 2 months I will not give him technical or detail corrections, instead I am going to suggest a quality that a movement or set or exercise cultivates and let him judge and question for himself if he can solve it.

The Form of Father, central in the Fighting Monkey practice, as Jozef pointed out is a set of exercises, a lot of them similar to what they do on soccer pitches every weekend, nothing holy. But the story of the father form is rich. This is 8000 thousand years old, something precious, healing, comprehensive and powerful; it will heal you and more.

My experiences and what I have heard from others that work in embodiment (Mark Walsh, Francis Bryers, Anouk Brack, Paul Linden) is that the body is very porous/sympathetic to the intention/purpose:

If I believe something, the body will do its best to support and cultivate that perception. It's why pharmaceutical companies bend themselves over backwards with double blind studies, to ensure that the patient has no inkling if it is the real pill or the sugar pill they are taking.

At the end of the session, I pointed at two grand stately trees several paces apart. I told him walking between these two trees would make him more powerful. He just has to figure out how that could be true.

Hardcore kindness

Returned to working on my deep stance the last few weeks. Last year I built up to 7 minutes. Coming back at it again I'm between 3-4 minutes, fresh.

This evening I sat three times: 3:30, 3:00, 2:50 (probably 3-5 minutes between the sits). I'm proud of myself because each time I stayed there for a more intense sensation in the legs. The last one I got to the legs trembling and tingling phase.

In college I treated it as a flagellating thing, chastising myself for my weakness whenever I whimpered to myself about stopping and standing, and the usual perfectionism jazz.

In the last 5 years, I've become more interested in grace under fire;  Be it a  deep stance, an impending deadline, or an argument: the psyche has similar responses to stress; cultivating kindness as things get tough is meaningful because it's easy to be a grouchy fuck when your back is against the wall.

Things that are helping me the most in being kind while I feel the burn and get those gainz:
A tip from Paul Linden's (he's amazing, and hosting a bodywork and embodiment seminar around 7th July - go go go!) centring method, which is mighty powerful, is to have a "smiling heart".  Something I got from Tom Weksler (a self-described traveling teacher, he's got an astonishingly deep practice in many things; acrobatics, stillness, martial arts, dance, also go learn from him :) ) was imagine the tension flowing out to the extremities; it's like spreading lumps of butter evenly on bread.¹ And finally: even full breaths with a complete exhales, because I've noticed if my chest and stomach is tight, I don't reflexively exhale fully, and it peters out with some gas still in the tank, so to speak. So when I'm not freaking out too much, I try to gently, but clearly exhale fully. I got the mindfulness on breathing from Systema.²

Tough training, particularly approaching physical or psychological limits is a way to experience the acute stress response, and get a " taste of trauma." Using the opportunity to cultivate gentleness and compassion, instead of irritation and frustration is invaluable, because it'll become easier and more reflexive to be that way when the shit hits the fan for realz.

In summary, kindness practice offers a wonderful layer to tough training sessions.

+++++
¹Bilbo shout out!
²yes, yes, I'm doing a lot of namedropping. Because it makes me look good. But also, it's marvelous how different and the same ideas can come from different people and influences... I'm a strong believer in redundancy hearing the same thing from different sources is a wonderful indicator of an underlying principle or a hypothesis being correct (it's never a certainty, but independent corroboration is sweeeet).

Perfectionist's Care Package

I am going to give a workshop series in the Winter.

Topic: Fear of failure, and giving and receiving help.

Who: People that often feel overwhelmed or exhausted by the fear of failure, and negative outcomes; who struggle to ask for help because it seems like admitting weakness (it is not, not all things are possible alone... in fact few if any things are).

Why: So that we can do our best, and if it is not enough, can still have compassion for ourselves. Everyone should have the opportunity and means to develop emotional resilience, a capacity to have grace under fire, to keep our wits about us when we need to. And when the dust has settled, shake it off, with a spring in our step.

When: 5 Sundays x 4h - 1 Nov, 8 Nov, 22 Nov, 29 Nov, and 6 Dec (specific time, TBD). I want to do this in 5 sessions because a single session is rarely enough to create lasting change and improvement.

How:  This workshop is focused on somatically working through emotions, and it will be hugely experiential and very personalised. We all have our unique patterns of tension and (in)action to fear or helplessness and what this course offers is tailor-made to help with them.

We will use exercises movement patterns, ideas and methods chosen from meditation, martial arts, dance, improv, and the performing arts. Setting us up to safely simulate situations that stir a fear of failure, a sense of helplessness, or a need for help. And prepare us to do our best, and should it be not enough that we does not knock the wind out of us.

For example: A competition between you and another participant; investigating how we feel in these situations (how did you react even at the mention competition?), how we feel before, during and after - win, lose or draw. Then how we can change so that our reaction is more constructive and less tiring.

Thoughts
Brené Brown said it best in a an interview with Forbes magazine
I was raised in a “get ‘er done” and “suck it up” family and culture (very Texan, German-American). The tenacity and grit part of that upbringing has served me, but I was not taught how to deal with uncertainty or how to manage emotional risk. I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity [...].

All the way through school and in work, there is a huge emphasis on the right result - “100%!”,  the ends justifying the means.  Putting in just a few more hours to get something finished, or just right, because it is shameful to fail. The entire experience can be brutalising, sense of personal worth becomes tied to results; a failed project, exam, training session or even a conversation, like being told one has been terrible or bad. It is rare that people are adequately prepared for emotional fallout, when things do not go as planned. It can often leave us paralysed!

In martial arts, competitive sports, performing arts, even technical professions - we spend time preparing, conditioning and training ourselves for the moment where we gotta perform; you do not run a marathon without putting in the work first. Likewise, I think it is critical we have opportunity and support develop emotional resilience, because emotionally intense situations are marathons, they leave their marks and they can be a lot worse than a few blisters on our feet.

Practicalities:
Lingua Franca - I will give most of the course in English, but on request, I can speak in Dutch, and during sharing and discussions, either language goes.
Venue - TBD; but location is Antwerp, Belgium
Cost - €100 for the entire series (refund is possible after the first session only; if this idea takes off, I will be charging €200 per course), deposit is €20. Balance can be paid at a later date. Email: maw140@gmail.com for details.
Participants - Ideally 10-15 people. Minimum of 6 for workshop to go ahead.
Clothes - wear what you can move freely in and will keep you sufficiently warm if standing around. (My own recommendation: loose-fitting tracksuit bottoms, long t-shirt, and a jumper)
Questions: Contact me on Facebook (Mairtin McNamara) or email: maw140@gmail.com

Me:

I have been working with the body in one or another for 22 years, most of that has been martial arts (kung fu and karate), but I have been dancing for nearly 10 years (mainly salsa, some hip-hop, and tango), I have done a week long intensive with Paul Linden in embodiment peacemaking and bodywork (using manual manipulation to release tension and get a deeper relaxation).

In 2013 I completed the multi-perspective embodied facilitator course with Mark Walsh, Francis Briers and Anouk Brack. More recently, I have been looking at movement improve, circus training and public speaking.

I have a PhD in industrial crystallization, black belts in kung fu and karate, I am a Competent Communicator in Toastmasters.... In word all the trademarks of a perfectionist and overachiever, i.e. lots of personal experience with fear of failure and the shame that can come with actual failure ;)

Systema Traincation

The last couple of years I've been going on "Traincations." Where I go off somewhere and immerse myself in something, a facet of awareness/movement, "mad skillz", if you will. Essentially a retreat.¹

Last year, I trained with the wonderful Paul Linden in Columbus, Ohio. For a week I worked on conflict resolution and bodywork, plus some Aikido classes in the evenings, with him, all the while I staying at his dojo. An off-kilter veering from my typical day as an engineer (he says with a hipster's smugness).

This year, I was back in North America, and this time it's personal martial. I came to Toronto, the second home of Systema (also called "Know Thy Self") (from the site):

[...]  the authorities quickly realized how viable and devastating the original combat system was and reserved it just for a few Special Operations Units. 

 The body has to be free of tension, filled with endurance, flexibility, effortless movement and explosive potential.

The spirit or psychological state has to be calm, free of anger, irritation, fear, self-pity, delusion and pride.The combat skill includes movements that are powerful and precise, instant and economical, spontaneous, subtle and diverse, the signature of a true professional. 

So there you have it a martial art, reserved for the Russian military elite. In a word:

Hardcore

In practice a mixture of wrestling, groundwork, strikes, weapons and multiple opponents; the whole shebang. I had gone to a few classes of it since September here in Belgium, but I couldn't go as regularly as I'd like because of the travel time.² It frustrated me quite a bit, and some of the guys at the school here in Kortrijk told me that people often go to Toronto and train for weeks, sometimes even months, at the source as it were. Given my obsessive bend, that piqued my interest...

And off I went. The first week at Systema Fightclub, and then second week at Systema HQ. And you know what? It is the tenderest, most compassionate, heartwarming and honest ass-kicking I have ever experienced!

It struck me more as a personal development course in the guise of a martial art. Sure, we're going to: step on each other... Push and shove... Lock and grab... Hit... Gang up on... Even use sticks, chains, whips and training knives... but it's about building each other up, leaving us greater than we were before. Give no more than the partner can handle; gradually expanding the comfort zone; handle punch with care.

That's the idea.

Working on the edge of the comfort zone, is by no means easy; I was covered in bruises and at times annoyed by the skill difference between me and the guys I trained with... It's particularly confronting since I've been doing martial arts for over 20 years. I mean, I should be better at hitting people for heaven's sake!

Luckily everyone was open to helping me. Giving me tips and pointers.

There is one class for everyone. There are no forms to learn; it's bare bones: principles of alignment and minimal effort, breath control and helping each other.  It doesn't matter if one has been training 1 day, 1 year or 20, the exercises are scalable enough that all benefit from the neophyte to the seasoned,  just a question of how deep/far one can go. In the partner work, we collaborate to get the most out of it, it's not competitive. We're given a great deal of autonomy; the teacher explains and demonstrates. He watches over us, but we investigate and explore, if we're not sure or need more guidance, we can. From the get go, we're encouraged to figure it out for yourself.

There is a wonderful emphasis on ease of motion, investigating different approaches and effects of handicaps (go to and get up from the ground while keeping one leg off of the ground, hands behind the back, etc.). We're invited to notice where tension, anxiety, fear or anger arises and working with it, relaxing using movement and breathing, and feedback/support from your partners.

Contrary to the typical image of martial arts, humanity is acknowledged and embraced in the training, it is not denied, as if we were cold automatons following a program or "real men"; that we get frustrated, have emotional responses to attacks and attacking. The context is martial arts, but the guys you meet and work with strive to integrate it with the rest of their lives.

Every class ends with massage work, some peaceful nurturing contact, balancing out the more violent prior work. The fighter is reminded that he can do more than harm. I found this profoundly special, because generally we, and men even more so, don't get enough caring physical contact. I read two pointed articles on this: Touch as Nutrition, by my good man, John Tuite; and  Touch Isolation: How Homophobia has robbed Men of Touch at the Good Man Project. The former looking at the dirth of touch in general and the latter about impact homophobia has had on how male friends express their friendships, and the consequences of being so starved for contact. For no other reason than allowing people the breadth of types of contact we can experience, these classes are powerful. And of course, who doesn't like being able to massage people well? :)

Manny, head teacher at Systema Fightclub, who spent hours outside of class  generously sharing his thoughts and experiences on the art and its broader scope, talks about Systema the martial art being just 15% of what Systema can do, that there is also the Systema of the family, the workplace, and the world at large, and can we apply the principles there that we cultivate in Systema the art.

I presume this level of integration is because of its military origins, where there is a need for a state of sustained vigilance and emotional resilience, so that neither acts of violence nor fear nor eventual aftermaths get you.

The kung fu I practice touches on this idea of calm and well-being, but I haven't experienced the class structure committing to it so effectively; quite often, training kung fu, I feel like I am carving an intricately fine statuette on a pin, using a microscope. Whereas the handful of days I got to spend in Toronto felt more like painting a mural on a wall in the middle of a city; both are works of art and passion, but one is scope and exposure differ.

Pushing the personal development and well-being lark aside, I'll wax pragmatic about the direct application of the training. As I mentioned the classes are made up pf simple (not easy) exercises to improve suppleness and strength in the body, and breath control. It eschews the more esoteric trappings of martial arts, with even sparing explicit mention of a stance, let alone forms and techniques. There are things that are worked on here, that other martial arts cultivate as well, but what impressed me the most is, the economy and efficiency of the Systema approach to training, where partner collaboration is central. The communication between the partners and the cut-down nature of the exercises means the desired effect is clear and the partner will say if it is off the mark. There are epiphanies fleeting or otherwise, that I have had in my own training in the years gone by, that in my opinion, would have been be more quickly arrived at in these classes. Content-wise, something I find singular is their approach and handling of multiple attackers, in any given class, there are even odds that we'll be worked over by two or more people in some capacity. This builds a comfort and familiarity with extra people and, I think, reduces tunnel vision in fights, because there are few things that discourage tunnel-vision more than trying to hit someone while getting kicked from behind by another. Segueing back into the personal development work... in day to day life, it's rare we have the luxury of focussing and acting on a single thing without other things looming; really isn't there always something kicking us from behind while we are trying to live (Imagine I am a cheesy reporter, finishing up a schlocky human interest piece...)?

At the end of my visit, when I was leaving, Vlad, gave me a warm handshake and hug. His wholehearted gratitude for taking the time to come and train in Toronto was incredibly touching. Ultimately, despite moments of vexation the likes of which I haven't experience in a year or too, this was a fantastic experience, that I hope to revisit many times in the coming years. :)

-----------

¹The typical image of a retreat is going off to nature, camping or staying in a Wigwam or something, but that is just too mainstream for me. Following the idea of Campbell's Hero's journey as a template for what retreats are: the environs thereof, are not critical to the process, but stepping over the threshold into the unknown is; going away from the familiar, from friends and family and diving into something alien.

²I wouldn't have any trouble attending because of the time travel.

Dun Laoghaire World Culture's Festival 2009 part 2

... and later on I did Lion vs Tiger with Kevin [I am the Lion :) ] full screen

Dun Laoghaire World Culture's Festival 2009 part 1

We were in a demo last weekend for the Dun Laoghaire World Culture's Festival, I did Louhan Sanzhan while Barry did something else [full screen]

training

Some times, I have been tempted to write about training, but I stop myself on the grounds that I am unlikely to say anything new or particularly profound. It could only last so long though... [that is my reluctance, as opposed to novelty or profundity] :/

In the club the word basic is attached to certain exercises- most of them, really. It does not take long to appreciate this is a blatant misnomer.

I find the skills constituting martial arts mastery- mastery of the body too, I suppose- are horribly simple. Inconceivably simple.

The modern human body is broken. Most of us sit around in offices, in front of TVs and chalkboards, completely unfamiliar with physical motion. I think of myself as pieces- two arms, two legs, shoulders, chest, torso, hips, and the list goes on. Little wonder everything I do is so complicated (and wrong), I am concentrating on moving lots of parts simultaneously.

Martial arts, yoga, dancing, among other things change the perception of the body from one of pieces to a single thing. No more worrying what moves when, it just happens. Simple.

In conclusion, there is nothing simpler than being a master. Nothing more difficult either.